Emma and Mollie Thunemann request the pleasure of Mr. I.J. Martin's company at a card party at their home, Thursday evening, February 25, '86. He will confer upon them a great favor by affording Miss Rose an opportunity of escape from former engagement and inviting her to accompany him. If his efforts in that direction are unavailing, he will at least honor them with his presence.
February 24, 1886
My Dear Ivory,
I have given up going to the wedding tomorrow as I don't feel like going. I shall not be able to attend the party at Miss Thunemann's. I feel this morning like I should want to always stay right at home. I am afraid I am not good enough for you, my darling. I have heard my faults enumerated until I have a very small opinion of myself--no doubt if you knew all the trouble I have been to our family you would not love me at all. It makes me very miserable to think about it.
Perhaps I ought not to write you while I am under the influence of the "blues", but I know you would think strange of my not going to the wedding nor the party--so I concluded to write and explain the best I can--the only explanation I can give is that I would not enjoy going anywhere now, and I can truthfully tell Mollie that I am not feeling well enough to go. It is almost dinner time, so good bye.
I am yours in joy or sadness.
Rose Eden
(Page 65)
February 24, 1886
My Dear Rose:
I was very much surprised at the contents of your note but am glad you honored me enough to trust me with your feelings. I wish I could see you and offer my sympathy. My Dear, I think you should go either to the wedding or to the party. It would be impossible to satisfy the Misses Thunemann if you should go to neither. They are very anxious that you should be at their party. I enclose a note that I received from them at the same time I received yours. Of course, if you can satisfy your relatives at Bruce without going down there, I would like to have you attend the party. But you must remember that everybody is not so reasonable as you are and are not so easily convinced of others' innocence.
O I wish I could see you this evening; but as I do not know the cause of your trouble, I suspect it would be better not to call, as I fancy a visit from me tonight would add to your embarrassment.
I believe you spoke of attending the Baptist church this evening; I meant to ask if you seriously thought of doing so but I forget it.
My dear, you must tell me all your trouble sometime soon and do not fear that any revelation will lessen my love for you. But let me insist again that you must go to the wedding or to the party, and it might be well to go to the former rather than the latter as that course would need no explanation.
Goodbye my darling and May God bless you.
Yours devotedly,
Ivory J. Martin
February 24, 1886
My Dear Ivory,
I am so thankful for your kind letter. I shall try and go to the wedding rather than to the party. Perhaps by tomorrow I May be myself again. I shall not attend prayer meeting or church tonight as I am not feeling well.
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You will come Sunday evening and I hope to be all right and more cheerful by that time.
Yours as ever.
Rose Eden
My Dear Rose:
Can you go to church if I call down in a few minutes?
Yours devotedly,
Ivory J. Martin
Progress Office, March 1, 1886
My Dear Rose:
Judging from your manner when I started home last evening, I imagined that you were a little bit offended. Had the same incident occurred 3 or 4 months ago it might have led to a serious misunderstanding, but now instead of rashly concluding that you are anxious to get rid of me, I am willing to search for any other explanation of your conduct, for I know the first is not true. I would not have written this morning had I not known that I said many things, with absolutely innocent intentions, that would bear a bad construction if you have become suspicious, and I wanted to assure you again that you must believe what I say only when it promotes your happiness to do so; for I say nothing seriously that will not have that effect. I would think myself unworthy to live if I should treat your truth and devotion in any other way.
I loved you devotedly before I thought you cared for me. Do you think I could change now, after discovering what a wealth of affection I have won? I was low spirited last evening, and this morning until I commenced writing to you, but now I would not change places with any one in the world.
I came to my office this morning, very reluctantly for the first time in a long while, believing that my work had become a drudgery. But the thought of you, my dear, removes or obscures all the bitterness of
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my other reflections, for since I have known you, though you have said and done things that gave me momentary alarm until they were better understood, you have been a constant inspiration to me and a treasure that I cannot live without.
Last night as I left the steps of your home in my troubled imagination I fancied that you were gradually slipping away from me, and I wished for a moment that I were dead. It was a foolish thought and a wicked wish which a moment's reflection made me heartily sorry for. But this thought has given me the blues again, and I must regain my spirits for I shall need them in my work today.
I May hold this note awhile because I doubt whether it is a healthy composition. If I were assured that you were not angry or offended last evening, I would not send it at all.
I am devotedly yours,
Ivory J. Martin
March 1, 1886
I.J. Martin
I am pleased that you can come down this evening. I have been wondering how I could pass away the evening. Please come about 7.
Truly,
Rose Eden
John R. Eden
Mrs. John R. Eden
House of Representatives
Washington, D.C.
March 1st, 1886
My Dear Daughter Rose,
I wrote your Ma today about my arrival here and how I found Belle and as
to the state of my health. My great object in life is, and for long years
has been, to secure the happiness of my dear children and their good mother.
To accomplish this I am willing to undergo fatigue and toil and to endure
trials. I have sometimes thought I have not talked as freely as I ought
to my daughters in reference to some matters upon
(Page 68)
which their happiness wholly depends. I have had much more experience
in life than any of you, and I know the faults and weaknesses of men better
than it would be possible for you to know them. All true men admire modesty
and a good degree of reserve in a woman, more than any other qualities,
and a slight and wholly innocent departure from their ideal of propriety
in these regards is likely to produce an unfavorable opinion in the mind
of man, especially if he is really a lover.
I have presumed this much because I have heard a rumor that you might be
engaged to be married. To this I offer no objections provided your mind
is at rest as to the wisdom of your choice. But if the rumor be true, you
have reached the most critical period in the life of a young woman. At all
times a circumspect and womanly course of conduct toward the opposite sex
is of the first importance; but when an engagement exists, these penses
are of still greater value, for the reason that your affianced, whilst admiring
them in all women, adores them in the woman he loves. Any departure, however
slight, from the strict line of propriety of conduct in his presence would
lead him to suspect there had been a similar course of conduct in the presence
of others.
I do not admire long courtships, and have less regard for long engagements.
But sometimes the latter May be understandable. My own sense of propriety
is against long night walks or rides, and is especially opposed to a young
lady and young gentleman sitting up late at nite--and I do not think very
frequent evening visits at all necessary, and I know that all right thinking
men agree with me in these matters. A young man who has the proper regard
and respect for a young lady will not insist on these things, for he knows
that it is of the first importance to her not only [that] she be entirely
free from reproach, but [from] even the tongue of the most envenomed slander.
Now my Dear Daughter, what I have said May be unnecessary for I do not know
there is anything in the rumor; but the counsel will be good at all times.
I have written these lines because I love you, and cannot be near to counsel
you, and I can put my thoughts on paper better than I can express them verbally.
I never want you to think it necessary to marry in order to have a house,
as long as I have one. It is as much yours as mine and will be for you all
while I live. Hoping that you May be happy and read this let-
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ter in the same spirit I have written it, I am with much love to you
and all at home,
Affectionately yours,
John R. Eden
March 2, 1886
My Dear Ivory,
Can't you come down this evening? You make your visits so short. I cannot get used to that way of doing after the pleasant evenings we have spent together. I am so sorry that anything should have broken into our enjoyment of each other's company--which made the hours glide away so swiftly--but we must not be discouraged at these little inconveniences.
I am true to you through anything that May happen, and while I am sure of your unchanging love, I shall try to be contented even if you will only stay an hour. But the time after you go away seems very long to me, and I want to see you oftener. So please if you think best come down this evening at half past six. I shall look for you, but if you don't come, I will know that some good reason kept you away.
I am going down to the City this afternoon. Good bye from one who loves you.
Rose Eden
March 5, 1886
My Dear Rose:
I did not go to the country this morning. This snow is exasperating. Why could it not snow enough and be cool enough to make a sleigh-ride possible? I am afraid you were not watching the weather close enough or we might have had it different. Last summer, I remember, you did not allow the rain to interfere with our buggy driving.
My dear, I am afraid that my calling every evening is a dangerous arrangement. I am more anxious to see you this morning than ever before and nothing in the world but a teacher's reading circle would keep me from calling this evening. "Increase of appetite doth grow
(Page 70)
with what it feeds upon." But I do not want to keep you from going
with Emma tonight.
There is one thing certain. After this week I shall never go to any public
entertainment with any lady but you. It is not like going to a small card
party. Yet I do not regret this arrangement as it gives you and Mr. Harbaugh
a chance to show your friendship for each other. Seriously, I hope you will
have such a pleasant time that he will be perfectly at ease, hereafter,
as to your feelings toward him.
I don't think it is necessary to caution you against saying anything to
anyone about the trouble in Miss Thunemann's party. Even if it should be
mentioned to you, please do not intimate that you know anything about it.
The clock is just striking ten--it sounds ominous, like the death-knell
of hope, or the shout of Malise at the church door, as he sped forth the
cross of fire and blood as the signal, which warned the highland bridegroom
that the time for action had come and which compelled him to spend his marriage
night around the hated war camp, "Far from love and you Mary."
But the sturdy highlander did not feel the pangs of insulted manhood. The
cry of, "Speed forth the signal Norman, speed!" though it snatched
him from his bride as soon as the marriage rites were said, yet, no doubt,
his spirit triumphed in the thought that he was capable of rendering Clan
Alpine such important service in her struggle with her Lowland enemies.
But I don't want to write an article on Scotch chivalry. A warm kiss and
a fond embrace from my darling would come nearer satisfying me now than
anything else I think of. I can appreciate the feelings of Carleton's penitent
husband when he speaks of his wife being "worth her weight in gold."
But I must say goodbye again. My Darling, I am devotedly,
Yours,
Ivory J. Martin
March 6, 1886
My Dear Ivory,
I rather looked for you last night thinking you might hear that the Reading Circle did not meet. Next Friday evening is the time, and I
(Page 71)
had a wee small hope that you might wander down this way and call, if
only for a few minutes. I would like to write you a real good letter in
answer to your most welcome one received last evening, but it seems to me
my letters are not half so good as yours, and I can't tell you how pleased
I always am to hear from you. Thank you for the poetry. I wrote Pa a four
page letter last night--is that doing very well for me?
I shall watch you this evening and see if you are losing your heart. You
must have a real good time, and don't be prejudiced against anyone by what
I said Thursday evening. I am really glad that Mr. Harbaugh invited me to
go. I have often wished that he would prove to me and all of our friends
that there was no hard feeling about that party.
I shall wait as patiently as it is possible for one who has no patience
for tomorrow afternoon. Until then, goodbye, from
Your
Rose
March 6, 1886
My Dear Rose:
Can you receive a call from me about 6 this evening? I May be able to come a little before six. At any rate I will promise to get away before you have to receive any other caller.
I certainly should have called yesterday had you sent me word that reading circle was not to meet.
I am yours without a struggle,
Ivory J. Martin
March 6, 1886
My Dear Ivory,
I have been thinking of that today and am glad you can call. You May come before six if you can, and if the bell rings too soon, I can let you out at the South door.
Yours,
Rose
(Page 72)
Washington, D.C.
March 10 th, 1886
My Dear Daughter Rose,
I do not know when I have been as well pleased as when I received your loving and dutiful letter the other day. You and all my children have always been kind and good to me. I can hardly say that I ever received an impatient word from one of you. This is and has been a great source of happiness to me. It has always been my desire to so treat you all as to be worthy of your love and affection. My constant regret has been that I have not been possessed of a sufficient amount of this world's goods to provide for you all as I would wish. Our happiness at last depends on contentment of mind, and this can be received by patience under privations which we cannot avoid.
I will have to ask you to excuse me from writing a long letter. My health continues good. Belle was out to see me yesterday. She is well and doing well. If the weather is good we will go to church on Tuesday.
I received a good long letter from your Ma this morning. I want you to write me soon. Belle complains none of you write to her. With much love to all at home, I am
Affectionately yours,
John R. Eden
March 12, 1886
My Dear Rose:
There is not quite enough firmness in the snow this morning to make a sleighride enjoyable. Yet while it would be intolerable under other circumstances, it would be pleasant riding with you even if the sleighing is not good.
My Dear, I hope that you did not have any more foolish dreams last night. It seems strange to me, my Dear, that you should even dream of my being unfaithful when every thought, motive and ambition of my life is stimulated by the fact that my fate is so closely linked with yours.
(Page 73)
I know that this is all stereotyped. I know that a vow has never been
made but that a similar one has been broken. I know that all the promises
I have made, other men might break, but I shall never do so. But then I
admit that you do not know me as I know myself, and some doubts and misgivings
in you are perfectly excusable. Indeed, I do not know but that they are
really desirable as they show that you are not entirely indifferent to my
affection and are anxious to retain my love, or at least not ready to dispense
with it. If you did not give me a proof of your affection, it would be some
pleasure to think that you desired or were willing to receive mine. And
it shall be the greatest happiness of my life to be able to prove to you
through the years of the future that I am wholly and devotedly yours and
to be able to remove every doubt that my darling May entertain of my love
and to strengthen every germ of faith that she has in my unchangeable truth
and devotion. May God grant that I May always be able to do so.
If you do not go to the teachers' reading this evening, send me word and
I will call a few minutes, but do not stay away from the meeting on my account.
I do not think I can come Saturday evening, but will come Sunday afternoon,
after which I suspect I would better make weekly visits until we make more
definite arrangements in regard to our marriage. (You see I am not afraid
of a breach of promise suit.) It was about our plans that I wanted to talk
this evening. I ought not to have said this for you will think I am trying
to persuade you to miss the teachers' meeting.
But it is nearly time for the eleven o'clock mail, so I will close. I hope
to hear from you yet today and receive a good long letter from you tomorrow.
I wish you would express yourself freely on all matters, especially those
that pertain to us. I know that active brain of yours is not indifferent
on the question of our future and prospective happiness. All I want to know
is the nature of its cogitations. The little effort that is necessary to
put your ideas in the form of expressions will be no disadvantage to you
while it will be quite a revelation to me.
Of course, I do not expect you to display as much knowledge of the world
and of business affairs in general as I ought to possess, but I expect your
intuition and your admirable common sense (pardon me, I do not mean to flatter
you) to complement and in a manner supply the practical information that
I might be expected to have.
(Page 74)
But I commenced to quit up at the top of this page. I shall have to do so now or supply myself with another sheet. So, my dear, until I see you again, please to remember that I am,
Devotedly yours,
Ivory J. Martin
March 15, 1886
My Dear Ivory,
"You must" and "I won't" are getting to be very frequent in your conversation and letters. "Indeed, indeed, ___," you need not think for a minute that I am writing "immediately" because of your commands this morning. I would not write for a week if I did not wish to.
Reading over these few lines I find that all of the sternness is woven in with bright colors of sweetness--perhaps I had better explain that my eyes happened just then to rest on the carpet searching a thought for my pen, and they found the above comparison. Well I am not a success as a scold "at present." If you will go on saying "You must" and "I won't" without even a "please" thrown in, although it is a bad beginning, I know and I fear my authority is gradually slipping away until after awhile you will be unmanageable. Still I am perplexed what to do about it.
I have read your Friday letter again, and there is so much earnestness in it. I could not wish for greater proof of your love. Every line is precious to me. I can't have a doubt of my future happiness. My thoughts of life are all bright and cheerful. I know I have not been very talkative of our plans. But my mind is almost constantly dwelling on that subject. Everything I do now I believe is done looking forward to the days to come. Whatever arrangements you make will please me. Of course, I don't know much about business and money and all that, but I hope you know that it won't take fine things to make me happy. But sometime we will talk more about it.
I am so glad you are well this morning, but I hardly think you told me the exact truth about it. I have thought about it all day.
I must go to Edith Hoke's soon and will call at the hotel to see Mrs. Clark. Now you will write Wednesday evening, won't you?
(Page 75)
I know this letter is not very long nor very good, but if you hadn't said "must," perhaps I might have done better.
Thank you for the prayer meeting calendar, and more than thank you for the note accompanying it. I think of going to church tonight.
Sunday is a long time off, isn't it?
Yours indeed indeed,
Rose Eden
Progress Office, March 16, 1886
My Dear Rose:
I am impudent enough to imagine that you would like to hear from me this morning. Of course I got home all right last night but I can't say that I was feeling first rate. I am all together this morning, however, and from present indications, I May live to a good old age. But then I don't mean to frighten you.
One reason for writing to you this morning is to remind you that I am entitled to an answer to my last letter and to intimate that I do not intend to write again until I receive a good long one.
But I have said enough for this time. If I should go on writing one lengthy letter after another without receiving any reply from you, if at most only a short one, you might become even more careless than you are in your writing.
But the boys are calling for copy. You will probably think this is very strange note paper. Well it is. I thought I would [use] something new in material if not in matter.
Remember that you must write me a good long letter immediately.
Goodbye, my dear.
Yours devotedly,
Ivory J. Martin
March 20, 1886
My Dear Rose:
You are no doubt surprised at receiving no letter this morning. But the truth is I have been feeling so badly that I was in
(Page 76)
no condition to write. Some time ago I resolved never to write to you
unless I was in tolerably good spirits. I wrote you a letter yesterday afternoon
and one again last night but the first found the waste basket and I concluded
not to send the other.
I am feeling better today but would rather you would excuse me from writing
a lengthy letter. I walked by your home last evening hoping to find a light
in the parlor but was disappointed.
Will you send me an answer to this as lengthy as you feel like writing?
I have been taking medicine all day and think I shall be all right by tomorrow.
I am not going home.
Ever yours,
I.J. Martin
March 29, 1886
My Dear Rose:
I thought you would like to hear from me today. I May be impudent in presuming so much, but be that as it May, I have concluded to write. I am afflicted with a mild sore throat which gives me no serious trouble. Really I was feeling very badly yesterday evening, which I hope will account for anything strange in my behavior.
I understand that you will have no church this week and you May expect me to stop in any evening that I can see a light in the parlor, not to make a long call but only to say good evening and kiss you good bye. I have not time to write a long note as I fear that it is now too late for you to receive it this afternoon.
My darling, I am
Devotedly yours,
Ivory J. Martin
March 30, 1886
My Dear Ivory,
Now I have found some paper about the size of one of my small letters. I was so delighted to receive one from you yesterday, and I gladly stopped my work to read my darling letter. Why didn't you come in this morning as you passed? I shall be at home this evening and hope you can call a few minutes.
(Page 77)
I suppose your sore throat is much better as you could go out in the rain this morning. Tillie Stewart is spending a few days with us.
I can't write half I want to. I am having a good time. Yesterday I felt like dancing, but I was up stairs most all day in my room, surrounded by work baskets, patterns, etc. and my work scattered around on the floor in a very untidy way.
May and the girls are talking and I May get some of their conversation in my letter. I hope to see you this evening, and will say good bye till then.
Yours,
Rose
April 1st 1886
My Dear Rose,
[several lines of unintelligible scribbling follow]
Joxxxmm mmmm
Rmmm Emmm
p.s. Ommm mmm xxx
Your mmm
Iv.mm J mmm
April 2, 1886
My Dear Rose:
I am somewhat disappointed in receiving no answer to my last letter.
Yours as ever,
Ivory J. Martin
April 2, 1886
My Dear Rose:
We have just organized a party to take in the "cyclone of fun" this evening. As usual everybody wanted to take you, but I told them that
(Page 78)
I claimed that honor myself. Shall I come down early, as soon after six
as I can?
I am devotedly,
Yours,
Ivory J. Martin
April 3, 1886
My Dear Rose:
This is getting monotonous. Four letters in three days and no reply. A letter
sent every day through the post office and each one unanswered! What will
the Post Mistress think? As I don't care what people think or say about
me and as you only seem to care what they say of you, it makes no difference
about the letters, so I shall write again.
I retired early last evening. I did not see anyone after I left you until
I went into the dining room this morning. I was up and ready for breakfast,
however, when the bell rang. "Early to bed, early to rise" etc.
They say the show was not a very rare treat. If circumstances were different
this fact would help to ease my disappointment, but strange as it May seem
it only complicates matters. Mr. Harbaugh will not believe anything else
but that I knew the show would be poor and so encouraged him to go by promising
to go myself, and then played off on him by not going. It has been suggested
to me, and indeed I had thought of it before, that the reason you did not
go is that you were dissatisfied with the way we went to "Uncle Tom's
Cabin." It is not true, is it?
I have endeavored to imagine myself in your place, knowing what I do of
you and your church, and so have tried to the best of my ability to appreciate
your reason for declining to go, but I confess I am unable to do so. The
idea that, after a meeting has continued three weeks, a person can't miss
one night to enjoy some other amusement, is entirely beyond my comprehension.
But then you have never found me unreasonable nor unwilling to believe you.
If you say that your reason was sufficient for you and overbalanced every
reason and consideration for acting otherwise,
(Page 79)
and that you could not do anything else without feeling a consciousness
of doing wrong, then you did right in declining to go.
It is a principle of ethics that, if anything seems wrong to a person, to
him it is wrong until he is convinced of the contrary. You remember, however,
that you said on the street yesterday that you did not think it would be
wrong to go. But I confess again that a person has a right to change his
or her mind.
But enough, too much, of this. I shall come down tomorrow if I feel able.
I am not feeling very gay this morning and May be worse tomorrow. I shall
not come if I do not feel better than I did last Sunday. I would have stayed
longer last evening but we were not in a humor to entertain each other.
I do not want to be in your company when by our manner we seem to be holding
an inquest over the corpse of Cupid.
I hope to receive an answer today. You know I did not expect an answer to
my recent letters.
Yours devotedly,
Ivory J. Martin
April 3, 1886
My Dear Ivory,
I think it is unjust in your friends to blame you for my not going. I am sure you did all you could. You can't make me go places I guess. I have told you my only reason for not going. I never would go to any kind of an entertainment during a meeting for I know what I would think if other church members should do so. Indeed, the way we went to "Uncle Tom's Cabin" has not troubled me any, and I have not thought of it once in regard to our going last night. I admit it would have pleased me better if you had gone with Miss Thunemann, but I have not been jealous for some time and if I were, it is not my nature to be spiteful about it. It is just as reasonable for Frank to imagine I would not go last night because he did not invite me to go again. As for him to think I was not pleased with his company before--.
I suppose Sam and Frank censure you for not going but a great many more people would have censured you and me too if we had gone. I regret to cause you any annoyance, but I think it would have
(Page 80)
been equally as bad the other way. I guess the storm will blow over though
and there will be a calm.
You have some new note paper, gilt edged, haven't you? I like the Progress
paper better.
I do wish the young gentlemen who attended the "rare treat" last
night would not take our absence so seriously. We must be two very important
people to be missed every time we don't go.
I judge from your letter that you are not feeling well. I would like to
see you and shall wait patiently the time when you will come.
I was glad to get your letter for I wanted to know the worst. I think the
young gentlemen of our party don't have much confidence in each other--they
are always so willing to suspect there is something wrong. But I trust peace
will be restored once more.
I am still freezing and am not well at all. I hope to go to church in the
morning, and see you in the evening. Good bye from your loving
Rose
April 3, 1886
My Dear Ivory,
Knowing that you will be looking out of that window, and I love to think you will be watching for me, I must explain my non-appearance this morning. My throat is much worse and I think I would better stay at home. I don't feel well but I would love to meet you at the foot of the stairs again. Perhaps you would not come down this morning.
I am sorry about the theater last night, but I did not want to go at all. But after you had made arrangements, I knew your feelings ought to be regarded as well as my own. Perhaps you think I am very stubborn. Well, that is a very good trait of character. I shall look for you early tomorrow afternoon and perhaps we won't have visitors. I shall be at home this evening. If you are up this way, call in a few minutes before theater time--but I don't want to keep you home again.
Believe me,
Yours truly,
Rose Eden
(Page 81)
April 3, 1886
My Dear Ivory,
I thought it might possibly be my good fortune to receive a call from you this evening, and have been hoping that you would come. So every thing is ready. Our parlor is good and warm this snowy evening.
Yours truly,
Rose Eden
My Dear Ivory,
I am not going to prayer meeting tonight and will be glad to have you spend an hour or two here if you are not too busy.
I am very much interested in some work I am doing and can't spare the time not even to write you a letter. I don't like to have you stay away until Saturday, and thinking this evening might be the most convenient for you, I have planned to stay at home with Ma. We cannot all go, and, no doubt, we will get lonesome if you should not come.
It seems like an age since you were here.
Yours,
Rose
April 8, 1886
My Dear Rose:
I received your note this morning as soon as the post office was opened. You invited me to call for an hour or two's visit. I am sorry I over-stayed my time but then really I stayed longer than I intended. The time flies so cruelly fast when I am in your company. I never knew the value of moments until I knew you. But then it is as it should be; if time dragged heavily or slowly with us, we would not be so happy as we are.
Besides, on the whole time does not fly more rapidly than formerly. It is a hare when we are together but a tortoise when we are sepa-
(Page 82)
rated, and the ages of separation added to the moments of mutual bliss
make the balance of time about as it used to be.
I don't know how the scale will be kept when our union puts an end to the
lagging periods of separation. I have often thought that I would like to
be in your company once for a sufficient length of time to enable us to
part without feeling such a painful sensation. Of course, the parting would
be for only a very short time.
My dear, I am afraid you will conclude that I have a faculty for saying
a great deal about nothing. You are so constantly in my mind that it is
very easy for me to become garrulous when you are the theme of my tongue
or pen. I say or think very little of anything else. I sometimes get lost
in a conversation on other subjects and find myself thinking of you instead
of listening to what others are saying. Do you think it possible for a man
to be too much devoted to a woman who is worthy of his love? Do you believe
that "a man May be a woman's grave"? These questions require separate
answers. The first has reference to the welfare of the man in particular
while the other affects the woman more.
I find so far as I am concerned that affection is not under the control
of the will and cannot be regulated as voluntary movements are controlled.
We can restrain to some extent our expressions but that is as far as we
can go. Of course I mean that this is the case when we know that the object
loved is worthy of our affection. I conceive that it would be perfectly
natural to withdraw our love as we would our esteem from one whom we consider
no longer worthy. I insert the last sentence only to show you that I have
not entirely lost my wits and that I am still able to place a subject in
a rational light. Yet,
My dear, I would like to have seen you this morning but I knew it was impracticable. I suspect that I do not think enough of your convenience. I always think when I have a few moments that are not occupied with important business that I ought to be with you regardless of the fact that you May be at that time engaged in something thatIn spite of all that thought can do
In spite of judgment tried and true
And all experience ever knew
The heart will have its way.
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you could not well lay aside. I can always restrain myself with tolerable
complacency when I know that it is necessary.
Last evening when I thought about the probability of your having no prayer
meeting on account of the church being under repair, the next thought I
entertained was that I ought to see you. So I listened intently for the
ringing of the bell and as soon as the time had passed I started to take
a walk in the west part of town intending to call if I could see a light
in the parlor. (I suspect I would have called any way.) I was delighted
to find the light gleaming like Hera's torch, for it told me that someone
was expecting somebody.
'Tis sweet to hear the watch dog's honest barkThis is to me one of the most pleasing passages of poetry in the language.
Bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw near home
'Tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark
Our coming and look brighter when we come.
I have quit reading so much poetry since I have been studying you. You are the sweetest poem that I have ever had the pleasure of reading. "Thou art to me a God-encompassed mystery." I am constantly making new discoveries. It is an old saying that it is only novelty that pleases, but I know better. The sweetest kiss I ever received was the last one I had from your lips last night. I don't know what you thought of it, but to me it furnished such a thrill of pleasure that I have been in almost an ecstasy every time I have thought of it since. As long as your love can furnish such pleasure, I shall have no cause to complain of unhappiness. It May be that I allow my enthusiasm to get the better of my discretion, but I never did like concealment, and it is hard to practice it in a case where I am so deeply interested.
Why should I blush to own I loveBut enough of poetry. You May be surprised at receiving such a long letter from me today. But I had an hour's time which was sufficient for me to commence it, and another hour sufficed to complete it.
Tis love that rules the realms above.
I hope that sometime you can find an opportunity to reply if you can find anything in this worthy of notice. If there is nothing that merits a reply, you can introduce some subject on which to write. I
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know if I had time, I could think of enough to fill a dozen sheets without
exhausting the subjects on which we are interested.
My darling, I am
Affectionately yours, I.J. Martin